STRANGE FACTS OF PAST PRESIDENTS PT6

John Tyler fathered more children than any other president – eight by his first wife, seven by his second – a grand total of a whopping fifteen.  Tyler may have been prolific, but he certainly didn’t win any awards for creativity: When it came to naming all of these children, he ran out of ideas.

Tyler didn’t let the fact that he’d already named two of his sons Robert and John stop him from using the exact same names for two later born sons!  Can you imagine the confusion this must have caused at the holidays?

MY MOMMY IS A PROSTITUTE STRIPPER

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up — teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. 

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his mother, he replied,  “Well my mother’s an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men and they put money in her underwear.  Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

STEP UP FRED – CONSERVATIVES NEED YOU

By: David Limbaugh

It’s time to step up, Fred.

Conservatives need a leader about whom we have no major reservations. The only one looming out there about you is your failure, so far, to persuade voters you want the job.

All of the GOP candidates are vastly superior to all of the Democrat candidates, but here’s the way I see the field now.

Rudy is a strong leader and very good on national security and the war. But he is a social-issues liberal, whose pledge to appoint originalist judges is encouraging — but not completely convincing.

John McCain is a war hero and a patriot. He has been strong on Iraq but disappointing on Guantanamo, tough interrogation techniques, and other war-related issues. He is not a supply-sider and is abysmally bad — obviously — on campaign finance reform and thus free speech.

KWANZAA: HOLIDAY FROM THE FBI

by Ann Coulter (more by this author)

Is it just me, or does Kwanzaa seem to come earlier and earlier each year? The same goes for the Iowa caucuses — the early scheduling of which forced me to run an attack on a synthetic candidate, rather than a synthetic holiday, last week.
I’ve seen so few mentions of Kwanzaa this year, I was going to declare my campaign a success, but I see that President Bush issued another absurd Kwanzaa message this year, referring to millions of African-Americans gathering to celebrate Kwanzaa.

I believe more African-Americans spent this season reflecting on the birth of Christ than some phony non-Christian holiday invented a few decades ago by an FBI stooge. Kwanzaa is a holiday for white liberals, not blacks.

EVERYONE AGREES ON A LOT OF THINGS: LET’S DO THEM

Newt Gingrich
Special to the Register

Everywhere I travel in America, the message is the same: People say they are tired of “red-versus-blue” partisanship and bickering. Americans are tired of negative campaigns, bitter partisanship and gridlock in Washington, with nothing substantive getting done.
The media invented red vs. blue, because it fits their objective in political horse-race coverage, but the candidates seem to have fallen for it. Don’t look to either of them to break us out of it. Judging from what we’ve seen so far, including the “American Idol – Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader” (or at least as smart as MSNBC’s Chris Matthews) debates, my guess is that if the media asked the presidential candidates to hold hands and sing a few versus of “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing,” they’d probably do it.